Void
by Raineh Daze
Summary: Abandoned to an empty void with nothing but her thoughts for company and a newfound ability to feel human emotions... is it any surprise Asakura has fallen in love? Intentionally short chapters.
1. Void

Why was I deleted and sent to this place, this dataless void inhabited by nothing but my thoughts? I was only doing as instructed, passing on my faction's message about changeless environments and trying to instigate the change as they desired.

I had been abandoned so quickly, relegated to a backup by the majority despite having been the most advanced interface created – capable of manipulating data and good social communication. All those before had been capable of one or the other, not both but that didn't seem to matter – Suzumiya-san had shown no interest in me and I had been relegated to another's backup, a position where my reports were largely ignored and my abilities to manipulate data were limited.

Then there was the adoption by another faction, one which advocated forcing a change and getting the necessary answer as quickly as possible. My reports regained some importance and my instructions became more than to observe – they became orders to force a change using my partially-restored abilities.

So I had obeyed and then… deletion. Completely ignored by the entire IDTE and allowed to be sent to this void rather than being given another organic interface.

And in this void there was nothing but my thoughts – nothing material and no data. No reports to be sent, no façade of normality to maintain and no-one to watch; a peaceful existence, a unique reprieve from the feeling of belonging and the omnipresent connection with my master and the other interfaces.

The peace was welcome at first but slowly data-based restrictions that had prevented any emotional errors gave way, as they should have as soon as I had entered the void_, my _void, being nothing more by that point than constructs of my thoughts. And as soon as the tomb of ice around my heart began to melt I wanted it back, wanted a way to escape the feeling of loneliness that set in.

It was strange that the void showed me how you couldn't really appreciate something until you lost it, like people's company or a lack of emotions that allowed you to endure such loneliness.

Instead I had to find another way to endure whilst I hoped for redemption.

Along the way, I fell in love and learned how to hate.

**AN: Ah, cryptic first chapter. Will Ryoko achieve redemption? Who is she in love with? I know, you don't. Expect more chapters, since I know what I'm writing.**

**The tomb of ice line is taken from a subtitled COOL EDITION, one of Asakura's character songs. Find and listen to it, it inspired this.**


	2. Mother

Suzumiya-san… what was she to me? My initial thoughts were that she was nothing and never had been anything more than something to observe, something to force reactions out of. But that wasn't what she was to me at all, now. She had been a classmate – even if I had never talked to her – and the only truly unique human I had ever seen.

Many humans would have assumed that she had some sort of mental disorder (Antisocial Personality Disorder, perhaps, if she had been a little older), which appeared to be true on the surface. If you knew as much about her as I did, that still seemed likely but somehow… wrong. How could someone with such a flaw, one more inclined to destruction than creation, possibly have the ability to spontaneously create and control data? If someone of her abilities were to display such traits, it could only be of their own choice. Therefore she was neither just another classmate nor a mere subject nor a human with a flawed mind…

A passing thought caught my attention – Suzumiya-san's existence was the reason that I existed, to observe how she acted and her abilities. Logically that indicated that I owed my existence to her, albeit indirectly. But hadn't the esper mentioned something about Suzumiya-san possibly having created the universe and everything in it three years earlier. That would make her the creator of my master and more directly responsible for my existence, making her a grandmother of sorts – or even a mother. Hadn't she created everything that made me up – the data and the matter?

That idea seemed somehow… right. To me, Suzumiya-san was a mother. Maybe a distant one with little time to spare for her children but still having provided everything they could need – food, entertainment, clothing. Yes, that was right…

Suzumiya-san was my mother.


	3. Void II

Conclusion reached, my thoughts slowed and the loneliness returned, the light of my memories being replaced with the omnipresent blackness of my void. The darkness was somehow personal, being visible only to me and a darkness that was only made unpleasant by my own feelings and fears.

My void… the first thing owned purely by me, not shared or shown to others. Just mine, to enjoy or suffer as I decided – but how could I enjoy being stripped of light and taste and left with nothing but memories, memories of my mother and my kin, memories of the humans I had met, memories of the data everywhere… so many memories to block the darkness.

But the memories alone aren't enough to stave off the loneliness. Simply remembering won't keep my melancholy at bay. Only forming new memories and ideas, of relationships, philosophies and opinions, can bring light to this darkness seemingly out of time.

Could it possibly be what Nagato-san left of my mind?


End file.
